Oh look. Here are some things actual people have said on Channel 4's Come Dine With Me.
Never wrap a baby in foil
I don't expect them to come dripping in leopard
Oh my actual God!
She's a Liberal Democrat? I don't know what they are
I love the Queen Mum so much I woke up one day and felt I had to write it down
They're just baby nappies and I just make a hole for the tail
I hope it's not just a glorified chocolate mousse, to be fair
It's strange coming on something like this when you can't eat textures