I love my new table. If I'm totally honest, I think I love it a bit more than I love you.
Sometimes when I'm at work, I have to do a quick cough straight afterwards to hide it.
Oh look, there's a wasp having a drink out of the bird bath. That always makes me laugh.
I'm not disagreeing with you; you're just wrong mate, do you get me?
Fuck it, I'm just going to go to my girls' night in my pyjamas.