Friday, 17 May 2013
Dear Mr Marchessini (successful businessman, author, tennis and bridge player who loathes hypocrisy in all its guises and UKIP donor)
I recently read your blog post entitled Skirts in which you argued that the fact that women are wearing trousers more than they did in the olden days when they didn't have the vote, couldn't sit on a jury and weren't allowed to report if they'd been raped by their husband, has had a 'disastrous' effect on relations between men and women. It was an interesting read, it really was.
Just a few questions for clarity:
You say that during the rise of feminism in the 1970s, women wore trousers because they wanted to 'look like men'. How do you know this is why they did it? Did you ask them all? Did they look like men? Because if they did, how come they still got raped and stuff?
You say that trousers are designed for men's bodies. Are women's trousers designed for men's bodies, too?
You say that fat women wear trousers in order to pretend that they're like everyone else. Is that also why fat women have jobs and friends and live in houses and go on holiday and read books and drive and know how to talk? To pretend that they're like everyone else?
You seemed really upset when you wrote that men have become wimps and are too afraid to 'tell' the women in their lives how to dress. Well, there was this woman I knew once whose husband kept telling her what she could and couldn't do - including what she could and couldn't wear - and after a while, she got really, really sad and really, really tired and her hair fell out and then she had to go to the hospital for a few months to have a big rest. Her husband was given a restraining order. Which do you think is more upsetting: what happened to the man or what happened to the woman?
You say that the birth rate in Germany has fallen and you seem to suggest that this is because women don't wear skirts any more. I was just wondering what you thought of this as an alternative explanation (David Attenborough said it): Wherever women have the vote, wherever they are literate, wherever they have the medical facilities to control the number of children they bear, the birth rate falls. Do you think it's weird that he didn't say anything about women wearing trousers? Maybe you should call him?
At the end of your blog post you say, there is a basic fact of life that women do not grasp - skirts give erections but trousers do not. I've looked in some science books to read this fact of life for myself but I couldn't find it ANYWHERE. Can you point me in the right direction? With your finger?
What are your views on culottes?
Have you ever met a person?
Oh, and you also once referred to Jennifer Lopez as a 'Mexican tart'. That's not a question, that a 'just-saying'.