Top Tips for a Successful Audition
Attention seek like there's absolutely no tommoz
Be! Excited! Be, be excited!
Cry unexpectedly but in a way that's interesting (eg, have blood for tears?)
Do one of these
Egg yourself on by literally egging yourself on stage
Forage about in the space for 'found objects'
Get over your nerves by stopping being nervous
Have an out of body experience. But in character
Imagine that the director is not a director but a depressed womble.
Just be yourself. NOT.
Knock on things to create a sense of rhythm in what you're saying
Listen with your eyes
Move around cleverly to show that your body is just a massive brain
Never take an animal to an audition. Unless it's a power animal
On finishing, apologise for any errors and punch yourself to show you mean it
Pretend to be someone else
Questions for the director: 1. What? 2. How? 3. How? 4. Why? 5. How?
Real acting is never as good as pretend acting
Show off your versatility by shivering if it's hot and sweating if it's cold etc
Take a leaf out of Jane's book and just be really natural
Underwhelm is the new overwhelm which is the old onwhelm
Veer away from prosaic words such as 'horse', 'fruit' and 'shoe'
Wear all of these:
You won't need luck when you've got the Power of Grayskull